


it’s a tale of a love that never dies (it’s a love song about someone who tries)

by evepolastri



Series: rosa’s kid things [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Asshole Dad, Canon Divergent, F/F, Nobody knows about the child, Secret Child, dianetti, idk man the story is a mess, mention of abortion, messy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-02-26 18:39:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18722716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evepolastri/pseuds/evepolastri
Summary: Gina is furiously knocking on Rosa’s door on a late Thursday night. She’s done playing around and feeling like she’s just being used. What she doesn’t expect is this night to turn her world view upside down. Suddenly, a lot of things seem to make sense.rewritten on 08-22-2019





	1. And Aubrey Was Her Name

**Author's Note:**

> it’s legit so messy because I didn’t plan ahead (as per us’) - inspired by “you’re just a child of heartbreak” by rileyhart
> 
> title: Road to Hell by Anaïs Mitchell 
> 
> thanks for @amysantiagoisfone for proofreading and hyping me up!! And for @jake-and-amy pointing out to me that the whole Marcus idea doesn’t make much sense in retrospect 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy, even if it’s a big mess

Rosa Diaz had always been an enigma for Gina Linetti. An unsolvable riddle. A mystery, from the second they first made eye-contact. 

The things she knew back then about Rosa and the things she knows now are still limited. It is, in fact, a very short list:

Fact the First: Her name is Rosa Diaz. (She still unsure about this one because there was an instance where Rosa called herself _Emily Goldfinch_ while being on a call.)

Fact the Second: She started working at the 99th precinct about five years ago after allegedly being relocated for getting into a huge fight with another beat cop. Again, she doesn’t have the full story but most rumors she heard where about mislabeled weapons. 

Fact the Third: She makes out with Gina on occasion.

Rosa Diaz is an arcane being and Gina Linetti can‘t help but be intrigued and incredibly attracted to her. To the leather-wearing conundrum that always has knives hidden on her body.

She looks over to the detective’s desk, only to catch Rosa eyeing her already. Gina takes out her phone and shoots her a text.

**G: Babylon**

**G: in 5**

Gina looks up again and makes eye-contact with dark inquisitive eyes. They look at her questioningly and Gina makes a show of slowly getting up, sauntering by their desk and vanishing into the direction of their secret bathroom.

No five minutes later she finds herself pushed against the white-tiled walls of Babylon with Rosa‘s body pressed against her own. 

It’s an occurrence that happens frequently nowadays.

Then the sound of a text message and Rosa stops abruptly, Gina still half pinned to the wall. 

“I have to go”, she explains after reading over the text. Well, she states, because _that_ can‘t possibly count as an explanation.

This is not the first time this happened either. And yes, maybe Gina should be used to this by now but she can’t stand not being the priority. 

“Where to?”, Gina asks but she doesn’t get an answer as Rosa already left. 

Really, it’s the usual. 

When she returns into the bullpen Rosa‘s desk is already vacant. She frowns and sits down at her own desk again, returning to her other favorite past-time: scrolling through Twitter. She reads about the news, which don’t really interest her and then the second, more important news (mainly about Beyoncé and what she is up to at the moment).

As expected, Gina receives a message. 

**Ro: my place, tonight, 7**

* * *

And this is how it goes for weeks, until they turn into months of the same gameplay over and over again and one night, Gina finds herself in front of Rosa‘s front door, fed up with the excuses Rosa she’s been given every time so far. 

It‘s around 11 pm on a Thursday night and Gina frantically knocks on Rosa‘s front door until it finally opens and the detective is standing in front of her.

She doesn’t give Rosa time to ask her what she’s doing here or to shut up because “I can‘t do this anymore, Rosa. Are you just using -”

“Gina -”

“- me or does this mean something to you? Every time you give me such shabby excuses -”

“Gina!”

“- and I really can‘t tell if I'm just a cheap fuck or if this is more than this and we never do it at your place -”

“ _¡Gina, basta!_ Shut up, please!”, and Gina does but

“Mom?”, comes a young girl‘s voice from around the corner and Rosa basically freezes in her spot.

As does Gina. She could swear she hears Rosa mutter a “fuck” under her breath, searching for something in Gina’s eyes. 

“Mommy, I can‘t sleep, I heard you fight and I‘m scared.”

Rosa inhales sharply and looks apologetically at Gina before turning around and talking to the young girl.

“ _Todo esta bien, amor_. Let’s go back to bed”, before the detective vanishes around the corner herself. Gina steps into the apartment and quietly closes the door behind her, locks it, and sits down on the couch in the living room, where she patiently waits for Rosa to return.

When she finally does, she has two glasses in one and a bottle of wine in the other hand. She exhales and lets herself fall onto the sofa as well.

Gina takes the glasses from Rosa‘s hand and puts them on the table in front of them before she takes the wine as well and fills both their glasses. She silently hands Rosa one of them and takes the other one, observing how the woman next to her gulps down her drink in one go.

Gina hands Rosa her own - untouched - drink and puts the empty glass back on the table.

“Just ask!”, Rosa finally snaps, exhaustion and anger lacing her voice like a slur aftertaste. It‘s then that Gina recognizes how rigid Rosa seems to be and also how tired. And there are so many questions lingering in the back of her mind but she does not dare to voice them out loud.

“Is she asleep again?”, is everything Gina asks and she feels the body beside her relax.

It’s not her business, Gina thinks, to know anything about the girl living with Rosa. But it would certainly explain a lot. She reaches out her right hand and takes Rosa‘s left one into hers, her thumb softly stroking the back of Rosa‘s hand.

Rosa nods. For the first time since she returned into the living room, they are looking into each other‘s eyes.

They stay silent, neither of them in the mood to talk about the incidents at the door. Instead, they are drinking wine and holding hands and eventually Rosa leans her head on Gina‘s shoulder. Gina reaches up her arm and lets her finger‘s graze through the detective‘s dark locks.

“I was 20 and a medical student when I found out. Her father and I were together for two years at that point. When I had her I decided to put med school on hold. He carried on studying to provide for us. We didn’t work out but he still takes her every other week.”

Gina lifts Rosa‘s chin, forcing her to look her in the eyes. She doesn’t know what to say, so she just kisses her instead, trying to convey every unspoken word through the touch of their lips. A _thank you for trusting me_ , an _I am here and we will work this out together_ and an _it will be okay_ as the clock strikes 3 am.

One Monday night a week later, Gina finds herself in front of Rosa‘s apartment again. She brought _The Holiday_ and Chinese take-out and as soon as Rosa opens the door, Gina declares this night a date.

“I thought we were gonna bone and then you leave and we make out at work tomorrow. You know, the usual”, Rosa states and Gina has to chuckle.

“No, my sweet, innocent Rosie, this”, she vaguely gestures around with her hands already occupied, “is a date. Because I want to date you. Don‘t get me wrong because making out in Babylon is hot and all but I want more”, Rosa is about to open her mouth to intervene but “- don‘t interrupt me - and I don’t care that you have a child - I mean I do care but you don‘t have to worry that it‘ll scare me off. It’s not a dealbreaker. Now that we‘ve established that: I brought your favorite movie and some food.”

Gina finishes off her speech and leaves an astonished and slightly bewildered Rosa behind her at the door, while she makes her way inside into the kitchen. She looks for forks and then makes a beeline for the living room.

In the corner of her eye she sees that Rosa still hasn’t left her spot by the front door and smiles. “Aren‘t you coming?”, she asks her innocently and then sits down on the sofa. She pulls her legs under her and starts opening the container with the dumplings. Gina begins eating just as the other woman sits down next to her.

“So you won‘t suddenly leave because you realize that having a child is a lot of work and you won‘t always be the priority?”

Gina nods. “I haven’t done that over the last ten days or so, haven’t I?”, Gina asks with her mouth filled to the brim. 

“But you love being the priority!”, Rosa exclaims, her mouth now stuffed with fried rice.

Gina just shrugs and puts the movie in the DVD-player, sitting back down next to the Rosa and continues devouring the dumplings.

If not being the priority means getting to date Rosa Diaz, so be it. This is only the first point on a very long list of things she would give up if it meant being with the detective.

* * *

One thing leads to another and dating leads to being in a relationship and knowing a child exists in her girlfriend‘s life suddenly leads to more.

On a late Friday evening Gina receives an unexpected text message and she knows her world is about to be turned upside-down.

**Ro: I want you to meet her**

**G: r u suure**

**Ro: Tomorrow, 3 pm, the playground in the park near my apartment**

Gina sends her a thumbs-up-emoji and several heart-emojis. Rosa reads it but doesn’t answer.

So Gina makes sure to wake up on time (read: 11 am) the next morning. Her initial plans were to do nothing all day, maybe go to dance practice if she really felt like it, because she had booked the studio for today after all. But mainly to lounge around and catch up on Killing Eve.

She eats breakfast, something she seldom does, and takes a long shower afterwards. She doesn’t have to think hard about what she is going to wear and goes with a navy blue shirt, wearing her own (read: stolen from Rosa) leather jacket and jeans.

When Gina leaves the house she still has more than 45 minutes to spare but she‘s too excited - and maybe nervous - to stay inside any longer. She decides to walk to the meeting-spot instead of taking the subway or a cab and it takes her more than thirty minutes to get there.

She‘s still painfully early for being Gina Linetti.

As she rounds the corner she can spot Rosa and her daughter and it’s safe to say that Gina has never seen the detective in such a relaxed and happy state. She‘s smiling brightly while she helps a girl to build a sandcastle.

Gina slowly makes her way to her girlfriend and the child and settles on a bench near them. When Rosa spots Gina she whispers something to her daughter and gives her a kiss on the forehead before getting up to join Gina on the bench.

“You‘re early”, Rosa remarks with a smile on her lips and Gina wishes she could see this version of Rosa more often. No walls up. Smiling. Happy.

“I was nervous”, Gina confesses, moving her hand to scratch her neck, right as Rosa‘s child appears in front of them.

“I‘m bored, mom”, she exclaims dramatically.

Rosa chuckles. “ _Ser cortés, presentarte a mi amiga Gina por favor_ “, she asks the girl softly, while putting a curl back behind the girl’s ear. 

The girl turns to Gina, smiling brightly. “Hello, I am Aubrey”, before turning back to her mother and starting to ramble in Spanish. As they talk, Gina takes in Aubrey‘s appearance:

Her hair is dark. Black, even. It’s wild and curly, just like her mother’s but the curls are tighter. It’s tied up on her head with a few stray locks hanging off to the sides. Her skin is a fairly dark olive tone and she, too, has a big smile sitting on her face. She looks like a carbon copy of her mother, added with some foreign features. She’s wearing a pink, glittery dress, with a tulle skirt, black leggings and dark combat boots with a floral print on them. And a denim jacket over it all.

Gina can‘t help herself but smile.

“I wanna do something else, mom. _¡Por favor!_ ”, Aubrey pouts and Gina remembers that she has the dance studio booked, even though she wasn’t planning on going anymore. 

She types it out on her phone and hands it to Rosa, not wanting to suggest something the mother would not be happy about and then having to talk the kid out of the plans again.

“Listen, Bri. Gina might have the perfect plan. She has the dance studio she practices at booked for today, why don’t we go there?“ The reply she gets in return is a loud squeal and a tiny body throwing itself at her.

Gina claps her hands together and gets up. “Let’s go then!”

That’s how they find themselves in the dance studio on a Saturday afternoon and Gina turns on some upbeat dance music. They dance their hearts out while Rosa sits on the side and watches. She doesn’t like dancing anymore and nothing Gina does or says convinces her to get up from the floor and move.

After tiring the girl out with dancing and getting ice cream afterwards, Rosa decides it’s best to go home. She asks Gina if she wants to come as well, so the three of them make their way to Rosa’s apartment, and Gina thinks she could get used to this.

As soon as they enter the flat Rosa leads Aubrey into her room and makes sure she’s settled and fallen asleep before she quietly leaves it again, leaving the door slightly ajar.

She enters the living room where she finds Gina, sitting in her usual spot. Rosa looks at her as if she’s waiting for a verdict, nervous but curious about what she has to say.

“I really like her. She’s smart and cute just like you. So curious. And just as much as badass. You’re a great mother, Rosa”, Gina tells her girlfriend before leaning over and kissing her deeply. “I really like you, too.”

She feels Rosa grinning into the kiss. “I really like you as well. Thank you for today.”

Their makeout session gets interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Rosa huffs and rolls her eyes.

“Fuck.” 

She told him not to come by tonight. 

Rosa gets up to open the door and Gina is left behind, now with her phone in her hand, pretending to scroll through her twitter feed and totally _not_ listening to the conversation happening in the other room.

“- no, we agreed on tomorrow not today -”

“- babe -”

“I am not your babe!”

Seething.

“Okay chill. I miss her and -”

“- no, you know that you ruined that year’s ago. And I have my girlfriend over right now, so why are you doing this?”

“I -”

“Why?”

No answer.

“No, Tom. Tell me why or leave and don’t come back until tomorrow. And not before 10 am.”

No answer.

“That’s what I thought.”

Closing doors.

Rosa reappears in the doorframe and lets herself fall down next to Gina again. “I’m sorry, that was her father. We’re not… on good terms.” She leans closer to Gina, a tell that the administrator picked up on a long time ago, meaning that ‘there is more to it and I want to tell you but I don’t know how to get into it and maybe it’s best not to get into it right now’. And Gina usually gives her the space to figure it out.

“You can talk to me about it”, she lets Rosa know and adds, “I’m here for you”, as she softly kisses her girlfriend.

Gina knows Rosa acknowledges her words, even though she’s not showing any signs of it.

“You wanna watch a movie?”, the administrator asks after a while. Her girlfriend only shakes her head and lets it fall on Gina’s shoulder.

They end up sitting in silence, one holding the other close, waiting for the world to finally fall into place. For everything to be okay, just for a while.

It’s not until late that night and Gina bracing herself to go home that the younger woman speaks up again.

“Stay”, is all she brings over her lips but it’s all it takes for Gina not to leave. She feels Rosa’s long fingers wrapped around her wrist, turns to the detective and gives her a gentle kiss.

A gentle kiss leads to a heated making out session, which leads to Rosa grasping Gina’s hand leads to the bedroom leads to two bodies drowning in white bed sheets, drowning in each other, drowning in love.

By 6 am the bedroom is submerged in various shades of gold, engulfing the slender body of the peacefully sleeping woman next to Gina. And as Rosa is glowing in colors unseen it hits her:

She might actually be in love with the woman beside her.

* * *

“Do you like my mom?”, asks Aubrey’s curious voice at the breakfast table, muffled by a mouth full of cereal, and Gina chokes on the bread she was just taking a bite of. It catches her off-guard but more than anything she realizes that the girl had waited until her mom had left the room to ask the question in true detective fashion. 

“Are you girlfriends? Like my friend from school? She has two moms, too.”

By now, Gina is violently coughing and blushing, not quite knowing where this was coming from and what the hell she's supposed to answer.

“Why did you kiss her last night?”, Gina opens her eyes wildly, looking like a deer caught in headlights. She suddenly stops coughing and just stares.

“I heard mommy and daddy fight and wanted to give her a hug, but I saw that you were there and you kissed. Do you love her?”

Gina exhales loudly. A cry for help. Where the hell was Rosa?

“Listen, kid. I really like your mom. That cool?”, she tries to explain and it seems to soothe the girl for now. 

“My mom is the bestest!”, and as she leans in she whispers, “she’s a badass, not an anarchist”, as if this was top secret, something she probably overheard her mother say once and not meant for the ears of eight year olds. 

Gina has to chuckle. “I know”, she whispers back right as Rosa re-enters the kitchen.

“Bri, _prepararse_. Your dad is coming soon”, Rosa looks exasperated. When Aubrey leaves into her room, she adds “he just called. I’m sorry it took so long.”

Just as Rosa moves to sit down next to Gina, the doorbell rings. She groans and instead of sitting down she dodges the chair and makes her way to the front door.

Gina can’t see who it is but she recognizes the voice from last night.

“She’s not ready yet. You’re invited to wait outside.”

Arguing.

And then Rosa re-entering with a dark-skinned, tall-built guy. She looks defeated while he looks very proud of himself. He seats himself at the table and introduces himself to Gina.

“Hi. I’m Tom. Aubrey’s dad”, his smile seems smug and Gina already decided that she can’t stand him.

“I’m Gina”, she tells him coldly while getting up. She saunters over to Rosa and gives her a deep, passionate kiss. “Her girlfriend.”

His smile falls from his face, like he’s realizing that he really won’t have another chance with his ex-girlfriend again.

“Daddy!”, Aubrey squeals as she enters the kitchen. He smiles and pulls her on her lap.

“Ready to go?”, he asks and his daughter nods frantically, jumping from his lap to hug her mother.

“ _Adiós, te amo._ ”

Rosa smiles softly. “ _Te amo, ya te extraño._ ” She gives her daughter a kiss on the forehead, then goes checking if Aubrey really packed everything she’ll need over the week.

While Rosa is making sure that Aubrey has everything she needs and tells Tom that their daughter still has homework left to do, the girl moves to hug Gina as well. “Bye, Gina. See you soon!” She smiles brightly at the woman and then turns to her dad, who is waiting by the door.

After they leave, Rosa lets her head fall on the counter and groans loudly. Gina gets up and hugs her from behind and she can feel Rosa basically melting into her embrace as the detective leans back into Gina’s body. The administrator starts peppering kisses on to Rosa‘s neck.

“What do you wanna do?“, Gina asks in between kisses.

“Nothing.“

She smiles softly, leading Rosa into the living room. “Nothing it is.“

It‘s how they end up on the living room floor a few hours later, both of them leaning against the couch and a blanket draped over the couple‘s bodies and a documentary running in the background.

“Tom sucks!“, Rosa suddenly declares out of the blue.

Gina isn‘t sure she’s allowed to ask but she does it anyway: “How so?“

“Ugh“, she groans and Gina thinks it might have been a bad idea to ask when, unexpectedly, Rosa continues talking. “There are so many reasons. He never gave anything up for our child. He continued studying and graduated while I had to put my life on hold. I -“, she stops talking. “Never mind.“ (She learnt that sometimes it’s best not to speak your mind.)

“Rosa, you can tell me, you know? The whole secrecy thing was cute in the beginning but you can trust me. I won‘t tell anyone.“ She looks into dark brown eyes, like a strong black coffee you gulp down after a sleepless night. And Gina hopes that Rosa can see the honesty in them. “I wanna get to know you. Every aspect. Every fragment you’re made of.”

The detective inhales and exhales deeply for a few times and as she’s starting to speak there are no words coming out of her mouth. Instead the unspoken words spill over as tears and Rosa wipes at them furiously, angry at herself for crying in front of her girlfriend, angry at her past self and what she almost had done and scared of what the present would look like if she would have gone through with it.

“I-”, and all she can do is grasp for words because they are running and hiding from her. As her mind starts racing, suddenly she can only speak Spanish. “ _Soy una… una idiota. Me odio tanto a veces_ “, she confesses between hiccups. 

She hates herself so much for resenting Tom. For loving him so fiercely as a younger woman. She hates herself for almost giving up Aubrey. She hates her past-self with a fury that’s exclusively reserved for past (almost) mistakes.

“I was only 21 when we- when _I_ had her. And I was scared I wasn‘t going to be good enough and I wouldn‘t be able to provide for a child”, she hiccups and Gina only pulls her closer, ready to listen to whatever was coming next, somehow already knowing what she was about to hear. 

“I-“, she can’t speak it out loud. Saying it out loud will only make it real. “ _Quería un aborto pero él no quería eso. No quería que lo hiciera._ ” A shaky inhale. “He didn’t want me to. And I loved him so much that I didn’t go through with it. He promised me that he‘ll take care of us and that we will be a family but it never happened.” Rosa punches the cushion in her lap. “It never happened!“, she shouts with tears streaming down her face.

And Gina understands what Rosa is trying to say, even if it doesn’t come out in coherent sentences.

Gina understands the pain.

She pulls Rosa into her arms and lets her cry until she finally falls asleep.

He took everything and left her with nothing. Nothing but a child. And even though the child is her world now, Tom never kept his promises.

* * *

“He thinks we can still get back together”, she tells Gina about two weeks later. “He punched a hole in the wall when I told him I am bisexual and still, he thinks we will get back together.“ Rosa chuckles bitterly and Gina’s upper lip rises in disgust.

She studies her girlfriend’s face, the sun hitting her in the perfect places, her skin glowing angelically. And in the spur of the moment Gina tells her “I love you, Rosa.“ And dark eyes just stare back at her, at a loss for words.

“I-“

“I know“, Gina answers before their lips meet in a kiss.

They’re in a diner a few blocks down from the precinct, a place the squad is unaware of, but they’re in public nonetheless. 

She’s unsure if it’s the right move but she runs her hand through Rosa’s hair and lets it rest on her cheek.

“Bri wants to see you again”, Rosa confesses. And Gina smiles. She didn’t inquire about seeing the girl again, willing to move at Rosa’s pace and let her decide if and when Gina gets to see Aubrey.

As their break comes to an end they get on their way back to work, Gina entering a few minutes before Rosa and stopping at Jake’s desk to chat with him about the newest celebrity gossip. 

There is a dude that just came by to visit Holt. Can you believe? Super strange”, he tells her and Gina 

“Kinda sketch’”, she comments, observing how the Captain is leaving the office followed by a young, black man.

As he’s coming into view the elevator opens to reveal Rosa.

“Squad, this is Marcus”, the Captain starts introducing his accompaniment. “He has a work emergency, hence why he is here to drop off his little dog”, he then turns directly to Marcus: “It was good seeing you. Please notify my husband or I via text message at what time you intend on picking the puppy up.”

He then turns to Rosa. 

“Detective Diaz, you are back. Sergeant Santiago requested seeing you as soon as you get back.”

Rosa nods absentmindedly as she moves to take the stairs. She feels in her bones that something isn’t as it’s supposed to be. 

And as if on queue, she hears Aubrey’s laughter. 

“He wasn’t supposed to bring her here”, Rosa shakes her head. “No, no, no. They’ll all know!”

She stumbles down the last few stairs and Amy and Aubrey come into view. “Mommy!”, her daughter exclaims and Amy turns around and comes face to face with Rosa. 

Rosa, who she didn’t expect to be Aubrey’s mother. But now that she takes a closer look, there an unmistakable resemblance between them. 

The girl runs into her mother’s arms while Amy looks around to see that only two of her best cops are currently in the precinct. Officer Jennings and Officer Alvarado. 

Amy only experienced Rosa having an anxiety attack once but she’s observant so she spots the signs immediately. She leads the detective to her desk and sits her down. 

“Rosa, look at me”, she shakes her head. “It’s all okay.”

“Nothing’s okay!”, Rosa exclaims. “She’s not supposed to be here, that’s not supposed to be happening!”

Amy exhales and rubs her hands up and down Rosa’s leather jacket clad arms. “Nobody will know. I am excellent at keeping secrets. It will all be okay.”

“No, we agreed he’ll never bring her here. We agreed he won’t show his face at my workplace.” Her breathing accelerates, it’s short and quick and Aubrey jumps up from her place beside behind Amy, next to Officer Jennings and climbs into her mother’s lap. 

“ _Cálmate, mamá. Todo está bien_ ”, she speaks in a calming tone, and it feels like this isn’t the first time Aubrey had to witness this. Let alone coach her mother through this.

“ _Inhalar_ ”, the eight year old inhales deeply and then releases the air out of her lungs, “ _exhalar_.”

Amy slowly moves to put an arm around Rosa and pulls her close, holding her tight, feeling her shake. Feeling tears soak through her uniform.

“Ames?”, Jake’s voice asks. “There was a break in Rosa’s and my case and we need to move now.”

She looks at Rosa who wipes the tears from her eyes and nods. She gets up and gives Aubrey a kiss on the forehead. “Can you look after her?”, she asks Amy who shakes her head begrudgingly. 

“I have to go out soon as well.”

It’s then that Gina appears. “You were gone pretty long so I wanted to check if you’re still ali- AUBREY!”, she exclaims happily. 

“Can you look after her? Just until Kevin comes?”

Gina nods. “Of course, babe.”

Rosa sighs in relief. “I’ll see you tonight then. Have fun with Gina and with Uncle Kevin” and then turns to smile ather girlfriend. “I’ll see you tonight as well. Don’t show her the evidence lock-up and don’t introduce her to Hitchcock and Scully!” 

Gina chuckles. “See you tonight.”

“So, you and Rosa? And Rosa is a mother? And…Kevin? I’m so confused”, Amy tries to fill the silence. 

“Well, the Kevin part is news to me as well”, Gina explains and then turns to Aubrey “let’s go upstairs and sleuth that one out, girl! See you, Amy!”

“Bye, Miss Amy!”, Aubrey exclaims as well before the two girls vanish. 

Gina knocks on Holt’s office door. 

“Can we stay in here?”, she asks the captain as soon as the door falls into its lock. 

“Yes. Of course. Kevin will be here in precisely 27 minutes to pick up this tiny dog”, Holt gestures to the puppy in his arms, “and Aubrey as well.” As it turns out, Kevin and Holt have taken to watching the girl whenever Rosa had no one else to turn to ever since she started the police academy. They’ve been there when no one else was and Gina is oddly grateful to them for that. 

Gina nods. “Sounds good.”

“I have to check in with the beat cops downstairs but please feel free to wait in here until my husband arrives. And please take care of the dog.”

“I have to do homework”, Aubrey tells Gina as soon as Holt has left the office but Gina grins. 

“Or you don’t and we play with the puppy? Or”, she takes a dramatic break, “I’ll show you a super secret hideout that no one knows about?”

Aubrey’s eyes twinkle with mischief and she nods excitedly. Gina spies through the blinds to see who of the squad is still in the bullpen to discover that it’s just Hitchcock and Scully so she opens the office door and they sneak out. They take a right by Rosa’s desk and then run down the corridor, taking a flight of stairs down and soon find themselves in Babylon. Gina is carrying the puppy in one of her arms, the other hand holding Aubrey’s. 

“This is your mom and I’s hideout. You’re a part of the secret society now!”, Gina tells her but she doesn’t get the response she was expecting.

“Why doesn’t mom want me at work?” It comes out of the blue and Gina isn’t quite sure how to answer it. They both sit down on the cushions in one corner she selected a while back.

“What do you mean?”, she asks instead.

“Well”, Aubrey sighs dramatically, “I’m not allowed at her work and I don’t know any of her friends, except for you. And she is always afraid of people finding out.”

“You mean like earlier when you had to calm her down?” The girl nods. “Does this happen often?”

Again, Gina is unsure if asking these kinds of questions was allowed but it feels like something she should know.

“Not anymore. She had a lot of them when I started school. Sometimes it’s not that easy but she taught me what to do”, Aubrey grins. “Do you know my favorite subject is Maths?”

Again, Gina is taken off-guard by the quick subject change.

“No way!”, she exclaims. “Mine was English because it’s the best subject!”

“You’re wrong! Maths is the bestest”, Rosa’s daughter states like it’s the most obvious thing and Gina can’t help but chuckle. “Uncle Ray teaches me sometimes. And Uncle Kevin does a lot of art with me!”

Gina smiles. Aubrey is such a bright and enthusiastic child and it makes her fall in love with Rosa even more.

“Right. Maybe she just wants to protect you from her work because it can be grim sometimes and she doesn’t want you to be tainted. Does that make sense?” Aubrey nods. “I think we should get back to the office. Kevin should arrive soon”, Gina then lets Aubrey know. They get up, Gina pulling the girl up by her arm. 

“Thank you for talking to me, Gina.” The girl’s eyes look so sincere, Gina thinks, and then Aubrey hugs her.

“No thang, girl. Let’s get moving though. Can’t lose my first name privileges over this!”

When they round the corner to the Captain’s office, Aubrey squeals and takes off. “Cheddar!”, she exclaims loudly and though Gina definitely does not care about Arnie or Amy or whatever her name is, she makes sure she isn’t around because of her allergies.

“Gina”, Kevin greets her, “I am here to pick up Noon and Aubrey.” He gestures in her and Aubrey’s general direction.

“I know”, Gina smiles and after looking around to make sure nobody is eavesdropping she adds in a lower voice, “Rosa really wasn’t happy Tom dropped her off here and Aubrey has a lot of questions. Anyway, she has homework to do and I think he will pick her up at yours later tonight.”

The professor is stunned. She definitely is treating all of this way too casually. “So, you know?” Gina just nods.

“Yes. I mean I don’t know much but just enough. Typical Rosa-stylez.”

He agrees and then turns to Aubrey. “Bri, please gather your things so we can leave. Cheddar did not have his walk yet.”

Around five minutes later they enter the elevator and as the doors close Gina feels like she can breathe again for the first time in the last hour or so. She lets herself fall into her chair behind her desk and checks her phone. She has several missed text messages from Jake. The oldest from around 40 minutes ago.

**J: soooooo don’t worry but im in the ER rn rosa said to only tell u**

**J: she cut her hands on shards of glass by accident**

**J: was a pretty dope chase tho**

The newest just a few minutes old.

**J: almost all stitched up, be back in around 15**

**Gina: FUCK I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF SMTH**

**Gina: she alright?????????**

**Gina: Y DIDNT U CALL IDIOT**

She doesn’t get a text back from Jake and her calls go straight to voicemail, so Gina assumes they’re on their way back and she hopes it’s not too bad. She feels slightly anxious about how bad Rosa hurt herself.

Her questions get answered as soon as the two detectives enter the bullpen, one of them having gauze wrapped around her right hand.

Rosa storms right past her, trying to get jacket off of her left arm and failing miserably. Gina gasps and gets up to try and help Rosa out of her jacket. 

Unsuccessfully so. 

“Stop! I can do this on my own!”, Rosa exclaims angrily and both Gina and Jake scoff.

“Clearly.”

Rosa tries working on her case-report but typing with her left hand is not exactly her strength. Gina observes her from her own workspace until she can’t take it anymore.

“We’re going home, girl”, she announces and Rosa looks at her pretty annoyed. With her uninjured hand she grabs the stapler, ready to brutally smash it into the computer screen, but she is stopped by her girlfriend grabbing her wrist.

“Let’s go”, she tells her in her no-nonsense voice and Rosa gets up reluctantly, huffing and throwing everything in her bag, struggling to put her leather jacket on.

Gina lets the Captain know that they’ll leave and on their way to Gina’s car Rosa finally speaks up. “We have to pick up Bri. Tom is stuck at work. Like always.”

As they enter the car and Gina helps fasten Rosa’s seat belt, she decides to tell her what Aubrey asked her earlier that day.

“Bri asked me why she’s not allowed here and why she doesn’t know any of your work-friends. It was hella awkward”, she pauses but then in a softer voice adds, “why doesn’t anybody know?”

“Gina, just drive”, Rosa sounds exhausted but this is something she’s been wondering for a long time. Why does nobody know?

Gina inhales deeply, slightly annoyed and starts the car. It’s silent, neither one of them in the mood for music until, suddenly, she thinks she hears Rosa murmuring.

“Huh?”, she asks and she doesn’t expect an answer, yet she does get one.

“I’m scared, okay? Just… scared. I told my parents a while back that I’m bi and they told me it’s just a phase and we’ve not been on speaking terms since. I have to ask the Captain if he can look after her”, Gina thinks Rosa’s voice is tainted with a slight disgust, probably for her own helplessness. “When I told Tom that I’m not straight, he punched a hole in the wall. He thought I was gonna run off with a girl any moment now.” There’s a pause, Gina patiently waiting for Rosa to continue. “What if they all hate me? For not telling them? I don’t like sharing personal stuff. It’s hard! It’s fucking hard! I’ve known Jake for years and he doesn’t know about Bri. I just don’t want to screw this up!”, she’s screaming into the void of the car.

Just letting her anger out. She’s angry with herself, mostly. And Gina knows. Rosa knows that Gina knows what she means. Even if she’s bad at voicing it out loud.

Gina pulls up to the side of the street.

“They won’t hate you. They’re your friends. They care deeply about you. You shouldn’t be anxious about letting them in -”

Rosa laughs bitterly. “I’m anxious about everything all the time in case you haven’t picked up on that yet. I lay awake at night and my mind is reeling. I’m just a fucking passenger on a train to nowhere, alone with my thoughts. What if I screw up on the job and I end up really hurt? Bri is only eight and she shouldn’t see how broken I am at times! Yet she does! It’s always been her on my mind. When I was looking for a job that pays well enough and was something I’m good at. When I split from Marcus to keep us safe. When I keep her out of my work-life so she doesn’t have to endure the pain of losing someone. It’s always been her. And now it’s her and you. And I just can’t fuck this up, Gina! I have my reasons but everyone. Always. Questions. Them.” She punches the dashboard angrily, emphasizing her last words before the car goes silent again.

Gina pulls Rosa close. “Telling them won’t fuck it up, babe.” They sit like this for as long as it takes for Rosa to calm down again. It could have been five minutes or five hours. Time is nothing but a concept when the two of them are together.

After they pick up Aubrey and Kevin confirming that they did her homework and then watched Moana, Rosa thanking him and a short explanation of why her hand was wrapped up, they’re finally back in Rosa’s apartment.

The detective immediately walks into her bedroom and collapses on the bed, on the verge of passing out when Gina enters as well. She helps taking off Rosa’s jacket and boots, helps her out of her impossibly tight pants and then tucks her in. By the time Gina leaves the bedroom again, Rosa is fast asleep.

Gina then, for the first time, enters Aubrey’s room. “Can I come in?”, she asks and when the girl nods she steps in. The walls are a cotton candy pink and it’s exactly how she imagined it to be.

“Where’s mom?”, Aubrey asks and after Gina explains to her that she’s asleep already because today was a stressful day the girl asks if Gina can read her a bedtime story.

“Of course”, she answers. Together they read a chapter of the first Harry Potter book and as Gina reads the last line aloud, Rosa’s daughter seems to be fast asleep as well.

“G’night, Bri”, she murmurs and gives the girl a kiss on the forehead, then tucks her in as well. As she’s closing the door she hears Aubrey whisper “good night” as well.

* * *

They’re in the briefing room about three months later and before the Captain is finishing up his briefing, Rosa gets up from her spot.

“There’s something I’d like to say. I’m a pretty private person so this is kinda hard for me but here we go: I’m bisexual. I've been dating Gina for quite some time now and I also have an eight year old daughter. Alright I now field one minute and zero seconds for questions pertaining to this. Go! Terry?”

“Can we meet her?”

“Oh, boo. You’ve already met me”, Gina interjects. Rosa smirks.

“I meant your daughter”, Terry is clarifies as he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah. Eventually. I’m not ready for that yet but soon. I promise.”

“I can already see it”, Charles squeals, “Nikolaj and her being best friends forever!”

Gina was right, as it turned out. They weren’t angry, just excited she shared more of her life with them. She didn’t expect it, but Jake was the most supportive of all of them, even offering to watch her on his days off.

(When the squad meets Aubrey eventually, it’s pure chaos. But in the best way. It’s a Friday evening and they play games, everybody gets lost in their competitiveness. It gets especially heated when Aubrey challenges Amy and the Captain to a game of Scrabble. To their surprise the little girl wins and Amy demands a rematch the following Friday night.

One Friday night leads to two consecutive Friday nights, leads to game night every Friday night. And though she definitely didn’t see it coming together like this, it’s exactly how Rosa imagined her unusual family to be).


	2. Epilogue

She’s running. Running as fast as she can, not looking behind her. There is only forward. Only him. 

The perp they’ve been tracking for two weeks is about to slip out of their reach again. 

Jake shouts something, a few meters behind her but she doesn’t hear him, _can’t hear him_ as she’s zeroing in on the target. 

It’s like she knows which route he’s going to take and she’s shouting at Jake that they have to take a short cut through an alley because the perp will end up by the library and this is the fastest way. 

They’re still running as he asks “Are you sure?” 

And she confirms with “A thousand push-ups!”

And though she can’t see him, she knows he’s nodding his head. “Let’s get this bastard!”, he shouts just as they take a sharp right into the alleyway. 

They tackle their target on the steps leading up to the library, just as predicted, and as she cuffs their perp and she reads him the Miranda rights, she feels good for the first time that day. 

Rosa sighs in relief and rolls her eyes. “Finally”, she tells her best friend, “this dude’s going behind bars.”

 _Happy Birthday to me_ , she adds in her mind.

* * *

They’re in the elevator, Jake handling the cuffed perp and Rosa actually enjoying the silence. It gets interrupted sooner than she would’ve liked. 

“Oh fuck, Rosa. I forgot! Happy Birthday! I didn’t get you a present but we can go to Shaw’s after work?”

“Dude”, she’s glad they forgot and she didn’t remind anyone on purpose, “it’s all good. Drinks sound dope.” She smiles briefly at him. 

“Is Gina gonna do the whole ‘Roses for Rosa’ thing again tonight?”, he asks and honestly _what is up with the questions?_

Again, she is rolling her eyes. “Don’t remind me. I hate it so much!”

“Oh c’mon, Diaz”, he’s grinning his big goofy grin now, “you love it.” 

And, yeah, she kinda does but nobody has to know. So she tells him to “shut up” instead, right as the elevator doors open. 

She storms over to her desk and gets started on the paperwork while Jake is bragging to everyone about how they caught their guy and about how cool it was. 

Rosa only realizes how focused she is on the processing papers when she feels the Captain’s hand on her shoulder. She tenses significantly as she hears him tell her that there is a perp in Interrogation Room One and he wants _her_ to get them to confess. 

He gives her a brief rundown of the case, along with a file and then disappears into his office again. 

She flits through the file before she gets up, rolling her shoulders in an attempt to loosen the tension in them and cracking her neck. It’s only then that she gets aware of all the eyes observing her. 

The squad is watching her closely and it disturbs her. 

“What are you looking at?”, she snaps at all of them and as they avert their gazes she makes her way into ‘Into 1’. 

Rosa doesn't know what she should have expected - the case is described as a row of five gruesome murders all with the same patterns - but she certainly wasn’t prepared for this:

Her girlfriend of three years, in a slightly too big, checkered pantsuit with her feet kicked up on the table. 

As Rosa enters, Gina’s eyes rise from her phone and she smirks. 

“Happy birthday, Rosie”, she tells the detective in a seductive voice. “Bet you didn’t sleuth that.”

And Rosa shuts the door behind her slowly while shaking her head. “What are you doing here?”

Gina, in return, is only grinning. “I just told you, dum-dum. It’s your birthday.”

“But, the roses?”, Rosa hates how Gina just blind-sided her. 

The admin-turned-cult leader is getting up slowly. “Well”, she starts while approaching her girlfriend, “roses are actually kinda expensive”, she’s reaching into the pocket of her pants with one hand, the other grabbing Rosa’s face and pulling her in for a soft kiss and after they part she holds a black box in her hand and gets down on one knee. “So I got you this instead.”

Gina reveals a ring, sitting snug in red velvet. It’s thin and white gold and has a dainty emerald sitting between two smaller white diamonds. It’s filigree and exactly what she would wear. 

At least she thinks it is because the usually so badass woman can barely see through all the tears streaming down her face. 

“Rosa Diaz”, Gina finally asks and her ears start ringing but she knows what Gina’s going to ask just as much as she knew what the perp’s plan was earlier. “Will you make me the happiest woman alive and become my wife?”

And all Rosa can do is nod. “ _Sí. Mil veces sí. Te amo, Gina Linetti!_ ”

While they’re kissing, Rosa can hear cheers erupting behind her and as the lights turn on the whole squad is revealed behind the glass. 

The whole squad but most importantly: Aubrey. 

Right after Gina puts the ring on her she is tackled by her daughter. She lifts her up and gives her 11-year-old daughter a kiss on the cheek before Aubrey asks “Will Gina officially be my mom too now?” 

The detective doesn’t know how to answer it so her fiancée (fiancée, she can’t believe it) does instead: “Only if you want that”, and the girl nods furiously while smiling from ear to ear. 

Rosa isn’t sure if she’s really seen it, but she could swear that the Captain might have shed a tear. 

(The wedding itself is very private. They invited Rosa’s and Gina’s parents and the whole squad was there, too. 

Amy and Aubrey were Rosa’s Maids of Honor and Jake was Gina’s Best Man. 

A year later, they adopted another 10-year-old girl with the name Iggy. 

And of course, they all got drinks at Shaw’s that night. To celebrate Rosa’s birthday. And to celebrate the engagement of Rosalita Diaz and Gina Linetti. A love that never dies.)

**Author's Note:**

> this is by far the messiest thing I’ve ever written and thank you so much if you’ve made it this far!! ily!! (also yeah the end kinda sucks but I’ll get around to that when I have an idea on how to end it on a better note)


End file.
